I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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