Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
