okay pat passed out under dana's car
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
