I hate your face
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
