why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
