bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize