Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
