Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
