the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
