marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
