I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
