Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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