You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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