Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
