I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
