Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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