no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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