Swine flu is the new snow day.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
