Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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