We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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