Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
