For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
