that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
