maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
