i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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