I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
