no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
