Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
