butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I will be naked everywhere
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
