; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
