Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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