Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
