I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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