And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
