I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
