you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
