normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
