Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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