You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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