Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
