I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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