I wish I could punch you in the face.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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