Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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