Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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