As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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