2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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