I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
