I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
