brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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