Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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