We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
