Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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