Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
