Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
