oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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