Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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